to bone, or to strip?

Dear renovation diary:

Today, I'm stripping.
My stairs that is. There are 6 layers of paint on these solid oak stairs. That'll be fixed.

Dear life diary:
I'm proud of myself. I'm finally starting to feel immense guilt every time I buy something for myself. For those who know me well, know that I come with baggage. That baggage being a shopping addiction. Online shopping to be more precise. If I'm in a store, I stand around and wind up leaving with nothing even though  my cart was full. I justify why I don't need the shit. But I don't seem to have that control when it comes to places like Etsy.com and Ebay.ca. Now, with ebay, I've recently stopped. I figure, if I just don't open the web page, eventually the urge will cease to exist and I was right. I just don't feel the need anymore. But with Etsy.... that's a whole different thirst to quench. I hadn't purchased anything for over a month until today. I was reluctant to order internet at my new place for this exact reason but I caved last week. So today, I wound up buying something. Buying with money that I just don't have anymore. But the good news is, I finally got hit with a wave of guilt. The little angel on my shoulder punched me in the lip. And that's a first. So I think I'm slowly curving this need, this want, this must-have. My money needs to go to things like a roof replacement, and drywall. And a car. Fuck, I need to buy a car in the next 2 months. Shit damn.

I think my reasoning for buying the damn stuff relates to my identity. I'm not motivated anymore to really put effort into working out. And so I buy necklaces made out of horn and bone, belt buckles hand tattooed into the leather, pants hand stitched, etc to distract people from my ever growing cupcake hips.

I don't know, I'll get over it I'm sure. What I do know is this: I'm so fucking proud of this house. I think I finally have found a home. The nomad will finally set in roots. Good-bye loyal thrice song dictating my life.