.

Alright. I'm counting down. For me, turning 30 is a big deal.

I'm 23 now, and I'm looking at who I'll be in 7 years. For me, having a goal, however small it may be, is important so I can focus on something. Sometimes it's hard to see through all the bad but having a very, very bright light at the end of the tunnel allows me to see a glimmer while I'm faced with obstacles.

So, with that being said, my goal is my 30th birthday. It's when I have to stop horsing around and put my life together. I've given myself until then to live freely, to break hearts, have love, make foolish choices, avoid commitment. Only on that day and from that day on will I be allowed to feel the sadness or disappointment should I still be single or be single at that time. I think that by giving myself a time line, not committing to someone or not finding love... it makes it less painful. I'm a difficult person. I often see people only as tools not so much as gifts. People outside of my close circle. Eh.

I don't know if any of this makes sense but I guess it doesn't necessarily have to.