Hello, Thursday.

Alas, here I am. Thursday afternoon, and I'm pondering the summer ahead. Currently I work indoors, print and sign shop stuff. But this coming summer, I'll be outside. =D I love physical labor. Where it's so hot out, you could pass out. You're filthy, sweaty, tired. I love it. This summer, I'll be sealing up the cracks at the school down the street. Work as much as I want or as little. So long as the job gets done on time. I like it because of the close proximity to my house. Walk to work, do the jerb, come home. Yes, the first while will be sunburn heaven. But it's the first step to conditioning my skin to start tanning. Having dated a guy who worked outside for a living, he taught me some tid bits and tricks to avoiding heat stroke. Not only that but what it does to your skin.

So on and so forth, so that'll help. I have something called SAD, Seasonal affective disorder where I require more vitamin D than most people. And as soon as the winter hits, the sun is out less, my body shuts down. It's not a depression, it's a sleep disorder, it's just a hibernation type thing. I stop sleeping. Almost entirely. To the point where I'm laying down for the full 24 hours of a day because I'm so fatigued but I can't turn off. I usually always find myself into the broke house during the winter because I work less. And I work less because all I want to do is try and sleep. It gets to the point where I throw up on a daily basis because of the anxiety from lack of sleep. It's strange, so strange. It was described to me as an inability to naturally produce melatonin. The drug your body produces to help you sleep. Lack of sunlight = lack of vitamin d which helps my body absorb and create melatonin because I can't create enough naturally.

I read a study where people who work nights [which I had for so very long] and are exposed to indoor lighting for extended periods of time, sleep significantly less than those who work days. Those who work days but work in an office with little window light, sleep significantly less than those with natural window light and those who work outdoors. And it all comes down to vitamin D. Your body needs a balance of melatonin it creates from the sun and melatonin it naturally produces. Without sunlight, there just isn't enough to have a solid, restful sleep. You wind up tossing and turning, waking up every 10 minutes. Restlessness, headache. Etc. It's horrible. And because I am unable to create a sufficient amount naturally even WITH sunlight, i just don't sleep. So I find the more I'm outside, and the longer the sun is out, I sleep a solid 6-8.

Anyways, you get the jist. I need sleep to function.